TesseracT - Legion (First Time Listen & Lyrical Breakdown)

Got to talking about music on this one YT video's comment section (an AR reaction to Grim Salvo) with this one guy and he recommended TesseracT to me. I asked for three songs to summarize their sound, as I like to do. He said Legion, The Grey and War of Being. 

I have no idea what this band is about, except that one random person on the internet said I might like it. Let's go! :D

-- Legion ended up taking me such a long time to unpack, that I decided to make each song their own individual posts.

Song

10 months ago, there is a music video. 

Oh wow... His vocal abilities are incredible! That falsetto reaches some astronomical opera soprano level (or just a very high tenor? idk how these words go now that men can be alto, mezzosoprano & soprano and women can be tenor, baritone and bass...), then he does metal screams, and then he combines the two into a power metal-ish astronomical opera soprano scream! This is crazy!!

Also, this is progressive metal. He said he hadn't found progressive metal that he likes, but after talking to me, he realized he might be wrong about that. And then in the next sentence, recommends me progressive metal. This is 100% progressive metal, apart from the singing this is exactly the kind of (good) shit I listen to day in and day out. Those vocals were something else though. Holy fucking shit!

I'm going to look up the lyrics and listen to the song again.
-- They ended up being so complex I did something I sometimes do with English metal lyrics - I translate them into Finnish and then decipher them. It helps me with very abstract concepts when it's in my mother tongue. And with metal, rhyme schemes or doubles or such aren't a thing, like in rap, so one doesn't have to worry about those.
If your mother tongue is already English but you struggle to understand metal lyricism, I suggest writing your thoughts down. Go through the verse line by line, actively thinking what it might be about. Metal lyrics are often about abstract concepts like feelings or philosophy and they use a lot of symbolism, metaphors and figures of speech. You can look up what kind of themes this band or this subgenre is usually about if you think that'd help to narrow it down. If the lyrics mention concrete things, think/google what their symbolic meaning is. Note every word choice or line that makes you change your mind about what the verse is about. Make notes. Then look at the chorus, assuming there is one. Do the same to that. Then do the same to the other verses. Then compare your sets of notes - how does the chorus relate to what each of the verses is about, what are the common themes and the overarching plot of it all in general? It's also very much accepted in the community to seek out other people online who like the band as well and decipher the lyrics together, if you prefer that. I'm an introvert and also take pride in my intellect and independence, so I prefer to do this alone most of the time - sometimes I have no clue what a song is about and I read what other people have said, though, and like I said, that's completely fine. It's also interesting to get new perspectives on the lyricism - no other human being has the brain you have, and your contribution to any topic, song lyrics or otherwise, big or small, is valid and valuable. It's also important to note, that metal lyrics are often very poetic and there is no one real interpretation of the lyrics of a particular song. So have faith in yourself, you can do this! ^^ Alone or with some help.
I left my thought process there in the breakdown below, so you get an example of what I mean. I wrote the translation and the comments on individual lines first, and then broke it down section by section (verse by verse), and then pulled all my thoughts together in the end.

Lyrical Breakdown (+a crappy Finnish translation)

Fill my eyes with blur

Täytä silmäni sumeudella/hämäryydellä 

Stare into the sun

Tuijota aurinkoon 

Linger just enough

Viipyile/tuumiskele/jahkaile juuri tarpeeksi 

To blindness I succumb

Antaudun sokeudelle 

The person or a thing that's happened is either making him not see things as clearly (they're blurred) or is making him cry (the tears blur his vision). But since "blur" can also mean "hämäryys", "dimness", and the next lines are about the Sun, the biggest source of light in our solar system, and he'd rather stare into the Sun and go blind... Those make me think he wants to get away from the thing/person and would rather not see anything... literally or figuratively.

But then there's the line "linger just enough"... Who is lingering? Him, staring at the Sun, or the other person, long enough for him to get away from them or..?

A monastery of hate swells deep and forever

Vihan luostari paisuu syvään ja ikuisesti 

Spectres rise and descend into the river

Aaveet/ilmestykset nousevat ja vajoavat jokeen 

A memory dwells

 Muisto oleskelee/majailee - except there's the saying "dwell in memories", where a person cannot let go of the past and instead clings onto something that's no longer there. In Finnish you can say "elää menneessä" - "lives in the past". But he's saying the memory does the dwelling - he's not the active participant, he's not dwelling, the memory is doing it to him.

A monastery of hate swells deep and forever

Forever, forever, forever, forever

Vihan luostari paisuu syvään ja ikuisesti
Ikuisesti, ikuisesti, ikuisesti, ikuisesti 

I don't know about "the monastery of hate", what does he mean, but I think the spectres and memories mean the same thing - the past. He remembers people or phenomenons from the past, the "spectres", which can mean "aave"="a ghost" or "ilmestys"="apparition" - those things rise from his memories, but sink into the river - he cannot see or remember them anymore, they're gone. But memories, those dwell, they don't go away. People may leave your life, things that happen in your life might stop happening, but you won't remember them just like that. *snaps fingers*

I can be guilty free

Voin olla syyllisyydestä vapaa 

Don't you see?

Etkö näe? 

In a world designed for you and me

Maailmassa, joka on suunniteltu sinulle ja minulle 

Holding on to echelons

Pitäen kiinni "echelons", a new word for me. It's "taso" as in " A level or rank in an organization, profession, or society." or "Vinorivi" as in the army term "A formation of troops, ships, etc. in diagonal parallel rows." Interesting word choice, something to keep in mind.

Messianic deformations

Messiaaniset (=Messiaaseen liittyvät) epämuodostumat

This is the second time they're using religious language in this song. I wonder how they feel about religion - most metal bands are either neutral or against organized religion, few are religious. They don't strike me as either for or against religion, though... I'm thinking it's a neutral stance, or a mild critique, or a metaphor for something else.

My first thought (from this sentence alone) is that he is talking about a group of people and thinks that what this group believes in is wrong and he's right. I have a word for it in my head, "vääräuskoinen", but none of the translations I could find translate it perfectly. This is the meaning of that Finnish word.

Control nations

Hallitse/kontrolloi kansoja/valtioita 

We're all holding on

Pidämme kaikki kiinni

He says he can be guilty free in a world that someone outside him and this other person (confirmed - a person, not a thing? in the first lines I wasn't sure) has designed for them, where they hold onto echelons, like hierarchy? He's just following orders, doing what's expected of him, and that makes him guilt-free? 

Now the next lines look like they're anti organized religion! Not necessarily against religion, but the organization of them. The hierarchy, of there being God, and then priests or whatever, and then the people. Instead of God and then the people. Priests making it a hierarchy, where they have more power than the rest of people and abusing that power, guilt-free, because their power (supposedly) comes from God, and who would question God if they're a religious person? Even the priests don't, because they also believe what they do is God's work.

But we're all holding onto this control, whether we have the control or not. All of us are part of that hierarchy.

Also, explains the "monasty of hate" - it's organized religion?

I can be guilty free

Voin olla syyllisyydestä vapaa 

Don't you see?

Etkö näe?

In a world designed for you and me

Maailmassa, joka on suunniteltu sinulle ja minulle 

Holding on to echelons

Pitäen kiinni tasoista/vinoriveistä 

Messianic deformations

Messiaaniset epämuodostumat 

Controlled patience

Hallittu/kontrolloitu kärsivällisyys

He changed the line. It was "control nations" and now it's "controlled patience". Something to note. 

Hmm, "controlled patience"...
Maybe it's about people praying for something to happen and it never happening? Because then they'd keep on praying and thinking "that day will come, when He thinks it's the right time", being patient, and believing in the hierarchy - "If the priest says that God says that that day will come, then that must be how it is, that day WILL come. I just have to be patient!"

I bind you

Sidon sinut 

Now you believe in nothing

Nyt et usko mihinkään

I bind you

Sidon sinut 

Now you believe in nothing

Nyt et usko mihinkään 

Oh.
So they're not as patient after all? They're just tied to the religious practices and stay there, because they have no other choice?

In my dreams I was innocent

Unissani olin viaton 

My skin unbroken, eyes open

Ihoni rikkumaton, silmäni avoimet 

On a distant sphere

Kaukaisessa/Etäisessä sfäärissä/taivaankannessa/pallossa/piirissä/alueessa (...so many possible meanings...) 

Before these walls surrounded me

Ennen kuin nämä seinät ympäröivät minut 

Made me disappear

Saivat minut katoamaan 

He had a dream or a daydream where he wasn't part of the hierarchial religion, he was innocent and also, he could see. His eyes weren't blurred by someone/something and he wasn't blind from staring into the Sun. And the place where this was possible was somewhere in a galaxy far far away (;D). No but seriously, it was somewhere so far it wasn't even on this planet possibly. But then he was imprisoned by the walls, they made him disappear into the mass. (Haha, I made a double, lol. I meant the crowd of people, all the other followers of his God, but Christians also have masses.)

Thrown into the grey

Heitetty harmaaseen 

In the ruins I remain

Raunioissa säilyn/viivyn/pysyn

Lead me home

Johda minut kotiin 

From the only world I've ever known

Ainoasta maailmasta, jonka olen koskaan tuntenut 

And branded heathen

Ja polttomerkitty/merkitty pakana

Third religious word! "Heathen" 

I have lost the battle on both sides

Olen hävinnyt taistelun molemmilla puolilla 

Lead me home into the sun

Johda minut kotiin aurinkoon

Is the Sun symbolic or literal? Is he an alien or does he want to go into the light? If he wants to go into the light, does that mean he wants to walk into fire, burn and die (and go "into the light") or does he want to find light as in true happiness? 

I'm thinking, the "grey" is the "walls", the symbolical prison he's in, the hierarchy. And seems that it has crumbled, since he's in the ruins?
And he wants to go home, to that place he dreamed about, in the other world or just far far away.
He's a heathen? Maybe this is about a cult? He was born into a cult and now the cult has crumbled and he wants out. Even though he's never been out, this is all he knows?

But, he's "lost the battle on both sides"... What sides? I thought this cult lived somewhere out of reach?

I've been dreaming

Olen unelmoinut 

Anxious to the core

Ytimeeni asti ahdistunut 

I don't want to feel this way

En halua tuntea näin 

Same as yesterday

Samoin kuin eilen 

Please lead me home

Pyydän, johda minut kotiin 

He wants to die.

Copy-pasting my thoughts to bring it all together:

- The person or a thing that's happened is either making him not see things as clearly (they're blurred) or is making him cry (the tears blur his vision). But since "blur" can also mean "hämäryys", "dimness", and the next lines are about the Sun, the biggest source of light in our solar system, and he'd rather stare into the Sun and go blind... Those make me think he wants to get away from the thing/person and would rather not see anything... literally or figuratively.
But then there's the line "linger just enough"... Who is lingering? Him, staring at the Sun, or the other person, long enough for him to get away from them or..?
- I don't know about "the monastery of hate", what does he mean, but I think the spectres and memories mean the same thing - the past. He remembers people or phenomenons from the past, the "spectres", which can mean "aave"="a ghost" or "ilmestys"="apparition" - those things rise from his memories, but sink into the river - he cannot see or remember them anymore, they're gone. But memories, those dwell, they don't go away. People may leave your life, things that happen in your life might stop happening, but you won't remember them just like that. *snaps fingers*
- He says he can be guilty free in a world that someone outside him and this other person (confirmed - a person, not a thing? in the first lines I wasn't sure) has designed for them, where they hold onto echelons, like hierarchy? He's just following orders, doing what's expected of him, and that makes him guilt-free?
Now the next lines look like they're anti organized religion! Not necessarily against religion, but the organization of them. The hierarchy, of there being God, and then priests or whatever, and then the people. Instead of God and then the people. Priests making it a hierarchy, where they have more power than the rest of people and abusing that power, guilt-free, because their power (supposedly) comes from God, and who would question God if they're a religious person? Even the priests don't, because they also believe what they do is God's work.
But we're all holding onto this control, whether we have the control or not. All of us are part of that hierarchy.
Also, explains the "monastery of hate" - it's organized religion?
- Hmm, "controlled patience"...
Maybe it's about people praying for something to happen and it never happening? Because then they'd keep on praying and thinking "that day will come, when He thinks it's the right time", being patient, and believing in the hierarchy - "If the priest says that God says that that day will come, then that must be how it is, that day WILL come. I just have to be patient!" 
- Oh. So they're not as patient after all? They're just tied to the religious practices and stay there, because they have no other choice?
- He had a dream or a daydream where he wasn't part of the hierarchial religion, he was innocent and also, he could see. His eyes weren't blurred by someone/something and he wasn't blind from staring into the Sun. And the place where this was possible was somewhere in a galaxy far far away (;D). No but seriously, it was somewhere so far it wasn't even on this planet possibly. But then he was imprisoned by the walls, they made him disappear into the mass. (Hahaha, I made a double, lol. 😂 I meant the crowd of people, all the other followers of his God, but Christians also have masses.)
- I'm thinking, the "grey" is the "walls", the symbolical prison he's in, the hierarchy. And seems that it has crumbled, since he's in the ruins?
And he wants to go home, to that place he dreamed about, in the other world or just far far away.
He's a heathen? Maybe this is about a cult? He was born into a cult and now the cult has crumbled and he wants out. Even though he's never been out, this is all he knows?
But, he's "lost the battle on both sides"... What sides? I thought this cult lived somewhere out of reach?
- He wants to die.

Ok, lets go with the theory that it's a religion or a cult. He is born into it, it's the only life he's ever known, and he doesn't know any people who aren't part of that cult. He's unhappy there - he's crying, calling them a "monastery of hate". People he's known and "apparitions" fade from his memory, but memories remain (=he forgets humanity and human-to-human connection, he forgets things that made him believe in the first place, but he remembers what happened) - everything becomes cold and pointless without people and faith, they're just things that happen and he starts to question why they happen. He's having an existential crisis. He feels tied to it against his will. He starts dreaming that maybe there's a better life out there somewhere, where he doesn't have to commit the horrible things he's committing in this cult, where he can see things for what they are instead of other people blurring his vision and God/priest/cult leader blinding him. Then his entire world comes crumbling down, he has the existential crisis and a mental breakdown and leaves the cult the only way he can think of - by killing himself.

Listening the song again while reading the lyrics, so I can make sure I didn't miss anything too important:

Repeating the word "forever" - all his patience wasn't enough, the "monastery of hate swells deep and forever". It felt like an eternity - and sure, there are people who have born, grown up and died in cults, I'm sure. So for him, it was forever. It was his whole life.
Also, how the interlude is so long in this part. It goes on "forever".

The screamed "I bind you". It's someone else, it's not him, saying that. And when he feels bound, trapped, he no longer believes in anything ("now you believe in nothing"). That's said by a slightly robotic voice, which I also think is not him. These two lines are someone else talking, perhaps the priest or cult leader, perhaps the religious group or cult as a whole.

Then the angelic "in my dreams I was innocent"... This is him again. Longing for a time when he was innocent, a place where might still be if it weren't these grey walls, these bounds he's in.

The screams in the next lines are him again, he's just in a lot of emotional pain and that's why he's screaming.

"I have lost the battle on both sides"... But this cult is all he's ever known... He doesn't know about a concrete "other side", one that'd be against the cult. So I think it must be either 1) one side is the cult, the outside, the other side is his mind, the inside - he's lost the battle with his anxiety and ends his life or 2) this cult is the only reality he's ever known - maybe they teach that if you leave the cult, you lose your chance to be saved by their God in the afterlife, and therefore he's lost that battle - staying in the cult is driving him insane, he'd rather go into the Sun, the hellfire, eternal damnation.

In the video, he's heading to the Sun, he's dying. A bunch of red messages reflect onto his visor from the screen in front of him. I can't make out much of it, but it says "ERROR" a bunch of times earlier, and in the end there's a "WARNING" of some kind. I take the "error" as his brain short-circuiting and the "warning" as that he was successful in his suicide. They're reflected above his eyes - I think this camera angle could be just so we can see his eyes, and the emotion he's conveying to us, but it also makes me think...
What if he's a robot, an AI? -- Took another look at the lyrics and I don't think so... Robots don't have eyes, or feelings... I think this is a person. The "error" and "warning" were just simplified versions of his thoughts.

PS. I can tell by the way they spell certain words that they're British - "grey" instead of "gray" and "spectre" instead of "specter".